So I was speaking with Stephanie about all things brain-related, and it got me thinking about my entire journey through life with this beautifully chaotic mind of mine.
💭 It's weird how sometimes the most random conversations unlock these massive realisations, isn't it? Like your brain's been holding onto puzzle pieces for decades and suddenly goes "OH WAIT THEY FIT TOGETHER!"
The Fish-Memory Years
Let me tell you, growing up with the memory of a fish while simultaneously feeling "sick" just looking at letters on a page was... well, it was a special kind of hell, wasn't it? Teachers constantly going "just focus" or "you're not trying hard enough" when my brain was literally swimming away from the words on the page.
I remember sitting in my secondary school classroom, watching the letters do their little dance across my textbook and thinking there must be something properly wrong with me. Everyone else seemed to just... get it? How did they do that?
I got pretty bloody good at masking though. Olympic-level masking, if I'm honest.
💬 "Yeah no I totally understand the assignment, Miss. Definitely. Crystal clear." 💭 I have absolutely no idea what she just said but if I nod enthusiastically maybe she'll leave me alone and I can copy off Jamie later.
I went back to London after living in Guyana for a bit, and I can still remember my whole family absolutely howling with laughter at my accent when I was just trying to call someone upstairs. Bewildering when you're small and don't understand why adults find you so hilarious. Just another moment of feeling... different. Out of place.
The Turning Point (Or: When the Penny Finally Dropped)
It wasn't until college that someone actually bothered to check if there was a reason I couldn't seem to make the words behave. Dyslexia. ADHD. Suddenly there were names for the things that made me different. Not broken—just differently wired.
That's something Stephanie and I both bang on about in our conversations: accepting who you are is the first massive step. Don't see being neurodivergent as some terrible burden—it's just a different operating system.
She calls it finding your "strength space" which I absolutely love. I'm all about this philosophy: "use your strengths to your strengths and don't get hooked on your weaknesses". Because that's what people remember you for, especially in business. No one hires me because I can spell perfectly (I can't) or because I never miss a deadline (I sometimes do). They hire me because I can see solutions where others see walls.
The Power of Not Going It Alone
One absolutely critical thing I've learned—and Stephanie completely echoes this—is the transformative power of networking and collaboration.
I always tell my clients this isn't just some business buzzword. When you're neurodivergent, it's bloody survival. Where you're weak, you can use other people to help you.
💭 Obviously not "use" in a manipulative way—more like beautiful symbiosis. Like those little fish that clean the teeth of sharks. Everyone wins!
You learn so much faster when you work with others rather than bashing your head against the wall alone. That's why I force myself not to isolate, even though sometimes my brain is screaming at me to hide away and avoid people. The isolation feels safer in the moment but it's quicksand in the long run.
AI: The Ultimate Body Double
And let's talk about Artificial Intelligence for a second. Absolute game-changer for brains like mine.
Where we struggle—the writing, the organising, the remembering of All The Things—AI steps in as a "virtual assistant", freeing us up to shine where we're naturally brilliant, like problem-solving and leadership.
Stephanie calls it the "ultimate body double" which is spot on. It's like having a second brain that doesn't get distracted by shiny objects or forget what it was doing mid-task.
Going With the Flow (Sometimes)
I work best under flexible conditions. Rigid 9-to-5 structures make my brain shut down faster than a computer during a power cut. But Stephanie makes an excellent point—this "go with the flow" approach doesn't work for everyone with neurodivergence, especially those with autism who might need more structure and predictability.
That said, I do think our ability to uniquely understand what different people need, rather than applying one-size-fits-all solutions, is a genuine superpower. We see the nuances. We get that different brains need different things.
The Family Understanding Revolution
One of the most profound things Stephanie talks about is how her family dynamic completely transformed once they understood ADHD. Before that? She describes it as "toxic" because "no one understood each other".
God, that resonates.
When you don't have that "relevant lens" to understand why someone's behaving a certain way, everything gets misinterpreted. Your distractibility becomes "not caring." Your sensory overload becomes "being dramatic." Your executive functioning struggles become "laziness."
But once everyone has that understanding? You can make appropriate accommodations and suddenly everything becomes more harmonious. The same behaviours are still there, but the interpretation—and therefore the response—changes completely.
Remembering the Different
The big takeaway from all my chats with Stephanie—and honestly, from my entire life journey—is that it's okay to be different. More than okay, actually. It's brilliant.
ADHD and dyslexia come with their challenges, absolutely. I still sometimes feel like I'm trying to function in a world built for entirely different operating systems. But they also come with some incredible abilities like creativity and unique problem-solving skills.
It's about embracing your neurodiversity rather than fighting against it. Working with your brain instead of constantly battling it. Finding the environments and systems that let you thrive rather than trying to force yourself into boxes that were never designed for minds like ours.
And when you do that? When you find that sweet spot? That's when the magic happens.
💭 Sorry this got so long. Typical me starting with a simple thought and ending up with a manifesto. But hey, hyperfocus for the win, right?
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